Resolutions

"Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink, and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever." -Mark Twain, on resolutions

New Years Resolutions are a really funny thing aren't they? For some reason we convince ourselves that just because the date has changed from December 31, 2010 to January 1, 2011 we will be able to change essential components of our realities. I will eat better. I will lie less. I will be happier. I will pay my bills on time. Why would anyone think that saying these things to ourselves one day will somehow make us change in the long run. I know that I can say to myself today that I will stop lying so much this year. Yet I also know when I am confronted by my mother or someone else that I will go back to my old ways of telling a falsehood to make life just a little more bearable. I am such a perpetual procrastinator that it took me until the 10th of January to even think about resolutions! There is no way in hell that me saying today that I am going to be on time on deadlines from now on is going to make any difference in my life.

I decided that instead of any huge resolutions I am going to set small moderate goals for myself. I have plenty of experience setting totally unrealistic goals for myself. Then when I fail I am depressed and punish myself. Sound familiar? (cough... weight loss goals... cough) I have a lot more success when I set a manageable goal even if I don't always like doing it. So that is what I am going to do about my weight loss goals and my life goals.

Things I want to change about myself AKA My Pointless New Years Resolutions

-I want to lose 30 pounds.

-I want to work out every day

-I want to pay my bills on time.

-I want to lie less.

-I want to stop being so emotional.

-I want to be happy.

Wow. Looking at that list makes me realize how hard setting achievable goals for myself will be. Maybe that is why people rarely change.

I don't even think I want to try. haha. I truly am a procrastinator. Maybe instead of sitting a writing out step by step goals I can just promise myself that I am going to honestly try and work on each of those things and re-evaluate in a month? I started keeping a planner again with all of my daily activities, intake of food, etc. and I have always found that to really help accomplish lots of things. Here's hoping.

So I was going to write about some of the awful things that happened over the holidays, but if I am going to try and be happier, maybe it is better that I don't dwell on those things. Just a short re-cap:

I had a huge fight with a really old friend and haven't spoke to her since. My mom told me I ruined her Christmas because she didn't think I gave her a thoughtful enough gift. I still don't have a job or internship because I am such a failure. I am so broke it isn't funny.

I am letting that go and not writing about it anymore. At least not for now...

Happy New Year :)

Soo it's the new year!! The holidays, I am not going to lie, were rough. Having both my sisters home from school, constant baking, family coming over, was stressful. It was definitely nice seeing everyone, but I felt like I didn't get 2 minutes to myself. My sisters were always using my computer, so blogging was pretty much out. And my mom pretty much watched every meal I had like a hawk. The good news is that I didn't really gain any weight in the past month. I haven't lost any either, but I am ok with it I think. Tomorrow starts my new year. My older sister went back to New York for school this morning and I feel like my life will start getting back to normal. My younger sister won't be going back until the beginning of February which is kind of bummer but it's ok. I have tons of awful things that I want to write about and get out of my system but I thought the first post I make in 2011 shouldn't be super whiny. haha. So instead I decided to do a bunch of quizzes! I haven't done anything like this in years and it was really fun :) Cheers to a New Year!

In 2011 I will be skinny.

In 2011 I will be happy.

In 2011 I will be strong.

Next post I will get into holiday drama and maybe some New Years resolutions. But for now... fun stuff...

ALL ABOUT ME

BASICS

First Name: Nicole

Middle Name: Marie

Birthday: May 12

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Auburn

Fav color: Changes day to day

Day/Night: Night

Fave Food: Anything potato related :)

FRIENDS AND LIFE

Do you ever wish you had another name? Not really

Do you like anyone? I loooove my boyfriend

Which one of your friends acts the most like you? My best friend from college

Who's the loudest? My best friend from high school

Who have you known the longest of your friends? My little sister

Who's the shyest: My little sister

Are you close to any family members? haha My little sister!

When you cried the most: When my pop-pop died

What's the best feeling in the world: Snuggling with my boyfriend

Worst Feeling: Fighting with my mom

FINISH EACH SENTENCE:

Let's walk on the: beach

Let's run through: the rain

Let's look at the: ocean

What a nice: ass. haha

Where did all the: time go

Why can't you: appreciate me

Silly, little:

Tell me:

HAVE YOU:

Ran away from home: when I was really young

Pictured your crush naked: maybeee

Skipped school: yup

Broken someone's heart: yes :(

Been in love: of course

Cried when someone died: yes. too many times

Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: yup

Done something embarrassing: hasn't everyone?

Done a drug: nope

Cried in school: yes

RANDOM

Your Good Luck Charm:

Person You Hate Most: Lots of bitches from high school

Best Thing That Has Happened: meeting Bear

Ice Cream: cookies and cream

WHO Makes you laugh the most: toss up between Bear and little sis

Has A Crush On You: unfortunately a guy from work and bear's pervy nephew

Do You Have A Crush On Someone: just the boyfriend

HAVE YOU EVER

Fallen for your best friend?: yes

Made out with JUST a friend?: yes

Kissed two people in the same day?: yes.. haha college

Had sex with two different people in the same day?: nope

Been rejected: yes

Been in love?: yes

Been used?: yeah..

Done something you regret?: lots of things

Cheated on someone?: no

Been called a tease: yes

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

You touched?: older sister

You talked to on the phone?: Bear

You hugged?: my older sister bc she was going back to NY

You instant messaged?: Bear's friend

You kissed?: Bear

You yelled at?: Bear

Who text messaged you?: Bear haha definitely a pattern

Who broke your heart?: boyfriend from before Bear

Who told you they loved you?: my mom-mom :)

75 QUESTIONS

1. First thing you wash in the shower? face

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? navy blue with white writing (it's Bear's high school hoodie)

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? definitely

4.Do you plan outfits? yes!

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? sad

6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red? my hair :)

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m? aim

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

9. Did you meet anybody new today? nope

10. What are you craving right now? french fries

11. Do you floss? no

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? yucky

13. When was the last time you talked on aim? long time ago, but i talked on google chat today

14. Are you emotional? way too emotional

15. Would you dance to the taco song? umm i don't know what that is haha

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000? no!

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? lick

18. Do you like your hair? yes, it makes me unique

19. Do you like yourself? depends on the day

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?

21. Do you like cottage cheese? kinda

22. What are you listening to right now? slow dancing in a burning room, john mayer

23. How many countries have you visited? 2

24. Are your parents strict? yes

25. Would you go sky diving? definitely!

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? yeah, i would love to ask some questions

27. Would you throw potatoes at him? haha maybe, it would depend on the answers

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? my toe nail polish

29. Have you ever been in a castle? does cinderella's castle count?

30. Do you rent movies often? sometimes

31. Who sits in behind you in your math class? don't have a math class

32. Have you made a prank phone call? nope

33. Do you own a gun? no way

34. Can you count backwards from 74? 73..72..71..70..69..

35. Who are you going to be with tonight? myself

36. Brown or white eggs? i don't think i have ever had a brown egg

37. Do you own something from Hot Topic? probably

38. Ever been on a train? yes

39. Ever been in love? yup

40. Do you have a cell-phone? doesn't everyone?

41. Are you too forgiving? definitely

42. Do you use chap stick? constantly

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow? going to work

44. Can you use chop sticks? badly

45. Ever have cream puffs? not for a long time

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? yeah

47. What was the last question you asked? do you want me to fold the laundry?

48. What was the last CD you bought? fun.

49. Boys or girls? boys for sure

50. What is your bus number for school? it used to be 55

51. Is your hair curly? sooo curyly

52. Last time you cried? yesterday

53. Ever walked into a wall? yup haha

54. Do looks matter? they shouldn't, but they do

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun? no

56. Have you ever slapped someone? my sisters

57. Favorite time of the year? summer and christmas

58. Favorite color? changes daily

59. Are you sarcastic? very

60. Do you have any tattoos? nope

61. The last person you held hands with? Bear

62. Do you sleep with the TV on? yes

63. Where was your default picture taken at? my facebook is from halloween

64. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? yeah... is that bad?

65. Do you like your life right now? not really

66. How often do you talk on the phone? not that much

67. What is your favorite animal? my puppy Bella :)

68. What was the most recent thing you bought? a cute dress

69. Do you have good vision? no, awful

70. Can you hula hoop? hell yeah

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater? probably not

72. Do you have a job? yeah

73. Can you handle the truth? i wish i could say yes, but no

74. What are you wearing? sweats

75. Have you ever crawled through a window? haha no

THINGS YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME

What is on your bed right now? 4 stuffed animals

When was the last time you threw up? about a month ago when I drank too much

What's your favorite word or phrase? probably whatever haha

Name 3 people who made you smile today? bear, mom-mom, my dad

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? sleeping

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? watching Jersey Shore

What is your favorite holiday? Christmas

Have you ever been to another country? Just Mexico and St. Thomas

What is the last thing you said aloud? I know

What is the best ice cream flavor? cookies and cream, or vanilla with rainbow sprinkles

What was the last thing you had to drink? diet green tea

What are you wearing right now? Bear's sweatshirt and college sweat pants

What was the last thing you ate? chinese food

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? yeah, a $5 dress at Charolette Russe

When was the last time you ran? yesterday

What's the last sporting event you watched? the stupid eagles game

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? italy

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on facebook? my big from my sorority in college

Ever go camping? yup

Do you have a tan? not right now

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? haha no?

What is your guilty pleasure? watching bad tv, staying up all night

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot? yes :) ;)

Do you drink your soda from a straw? always

What did your last text message say? i am missing you

Are you someone's best friend? yes :)

What are you doing tomorrow? working

Where is your mom right now? doing laundry

Look to your left, what do you see? my puppy

What color is your watch? white

What do you think of when you think of Australia? beaches and hot accents

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? of course

What is your birthstone? emerald

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? normally drive thru

Do you have any friends on facebook that you actually hate? yup

Do you have a dog? yes! the best puppy in the world

Last person you talked to on the phone? Bear

Any plans today? not really

Are you happy? not really

Where are you right now? my family room with my dad

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? my family and money

Last song listened to? slow dancing in a burning room by john mayer

Last movie you saw? Young Victoria on video, The Fighter in the theater

Are you allergic to anything? some medicines

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? brown uggs

Are you jealous of anyone? lots of people

Are you married? no

Is anyone jealous of you? yeah

Do any of your friends have children? not any of my good friends

Do you eat healthy? hahahaha

What do you usually do during the day? waste time or work

Do you hate anyone right now? yeah

Do you use the word 'hello' daily? yeah

How many kids do you want when you're older? prob 4

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 25 eek

Have you ever been to Six Flags? yup

How did u get one of your scars? field hockey

Thats all for now :)

Stay strong

xoxo

Nikki poo