Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels

The weekend was really hard. Saturday night I was so low. Sunday wasn't too too bad, but then Monday was terrible. My dad had the day off from work and my grandmom was over as well. I literally was a bitch all day. I felt like I was under a fucking microscope and ended up eating so much. I just couldn't stop myself. Especially at dinner. It was gross. I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I need to learn to accept my failures and just move forward. I decided not to weigh myself because I didn't want to start the day as depressed as I was all weekend. Today through Friday I am going to be pretty much alone though which makes me so happy!! I was able to only have less than 200 calories so far today, even with my Mom being home :)

Bad news: I have to have dinner with my Mom tonight.
Good news: I won't have to eat with anyone again until Friday night!

Tomorrow and Thursday night I have to work 4 to 8 and my mom can't come home for lunch either day. So my plan is to try my first fast in like 6 months!!! I am super excited (and a little nervous). I don't want to set myself up for failure so I am thinking I will just do a liquid fast for my first one. I have low blood pressure, so even when I was more used to fasting I tend to get light headed. I don't want my blood pressure to get so low that I have to eat. I will just have water, green tea, coffee and maybe some vegetable broth. After dinner tonight with my mom I am going to work out and start the fast. Hopefully I can make it to Friday night!! My plan is to go out with Bear instead of stay home for Pizza Night. Then hopefully I can have soup or a salad to end the fast. Saturday is when I get fitted for my bridesmaid dress. I am praying I am down some weight by then. I am optimistic :)

I am going to go shopping tomorrow so that I have something to do. I don't really have money to spend, but I can't be home all day alone and not think about eating. Maybe I will drive down to the Atlantic City Outlets to take up even more time.

More tomorrow :)
Stay Strong Stay Skinny

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