fasting

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess

And we are so fragile
And our cracking bones make noise
And we are just
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys

-Breakable, Ingrid Michaelson

Last weekend was up and down. I got to spend a lot of time with Bear and his family which was wonderful. They are really awesome people. So much less complicated than my family. His mom loves me and is kind to me no matter what. Being with her is easy; unlike being with mom, who is constantly criticizing, always complaining. I am almost always on edge around my mom, so being at his house so much this weekend was nice. It was his mom's birthday. The down side to the celebrations was all the food. I binged like crazy Monday night. Yesterday was bad too. Bear brought me food when he came over and little sis baked cookies and forced them on me. I felt so gross last night, so of course I binged some more. Pizza, cookies, and a huge baked potato later, it was all of my self control not to purge. But I didn't! In celebration of choosing to be less self-destructive, I am going to try a fast. I think the first meal I will have to have with people is Friday night with Bear so I am going to try and make it to then. I may have to have dinner with my family tomorrow but we will see. Wish me luck :)

xoxox

Stay strong and skinny,

Nicole